To Speak The Truth
by author121
Summary: Chichiri made his choices the first time. This time around, will it all still play out in heartbreak? Chichiri/Miaka. A reincarnation fic.


A/N: This pairing has taken hold of me and won't let go. O_O I'm sorry if it's a bit rushed. To all those who are reading this out of curiosity to the pairing- a bid you to give it a fair try. Who knows, it may ensnare you in its sneaky claws too. O_O Anyway. Enjoy!

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_"I'm so sorry, Chichiri."_

_The monk slowly turned to face his wistful priestess who looked as regal and beautiful as she had when she first attempted to summon Suzaku despite the dirtied and torn brown uniform she wore. He carefully watched the sad upturn of the corners of her lips; his heart twisting tightly in his chest as he fought the urge to wrap his bruised arms around her beaten yet strong form. To comfort her, to love her-_

_He shook away the thought, choosing instead to focus on the woman standing in front of him. Each of them were granted one last conversation with their miko by the grace of their God. One final time before they were all parted. It seemed that his turn had come._

_"For what, no da?" He asked with his normal tone of voice, injecting a certain amount of cheer he did happen to feel at the defeat of Seiryuu while at the same time ignoring the way his fellow warriors suddenly found themselves embroiled into lively conversation with each other and yet so obviously trying to eavesdrop on them as well. Some part of him equally wanted to shy away from the attention or glare at them until they truly minded their own business. But as always he did neither._

_Miaka closed her eyes, taking a deep breath, unfazed by the varying looks her seishi were sending her. "For troubling you until the very last moment." she whispered softly. Soft enough for the wind to carry the words to him and only him..._

_If he was confused, he didn't show it. "It's no trouble, no da. It's been an honor to serve you." He replied with all the warmth and sincerity he possessed, bending at the waist to bow._

_When he felt the warmth of a palm against his cheek, he froze. His heart stopping for what seemed to be a lifetime before it restarted and raced hard against his ribcage. He was confused, shocked. His composure so surely and so completely torn from him that he was left disoriented and out of breath._

_But then, that had always been her effect on him, hadn't it?_

_He crushed the thought in his head before it spread, taking a hard swallow as he got his faculties under control._

_"You don't have to bow to me." her voice sounded both resigned and hurt, and it tore at him to know that he was the cause. He had always been the cause of her pain it seemed— even if he had sworn to do his utmost to keep her happy. "You've never- I've never wanted you to-" her voice was choked now, pained and wavering. He knew, right then and there, that tears were welling up in her beautiful hazel eyes, threatening to slide down her pale cheeks._

_Before he knew what was happening, what he was planning- before he could talk himself out of it like he usually did- he had done what he earlier wished and wrapped his arms around her shaking form, crushing her powerfully against him with all the strength he possessed as a Suzaku star warrior._

_He didn't say anything. He couldn't. His throat was tight, his chest heavy with feeling. The right words he had prided himself on always knowing were suddenly banished to the deepest depths of his mind._

_He felt, more than heard, the way her breath caught in her throat. The way her pulse raced almost in time with his. And after a few moments of utter joy he found himself back in reality where more than a few complaints were being shouted not fifteen feet of them. He snatched his arms away, as if burnt by the figure he had been holding onto so desperately._

_His mouth opened and closed, uselessly trying to speak. To reason. To excuse. To appease._

_He moved to step away, but found himself locked in place by the arms tightly wound around his waist and the face burying itself in the coarse white material of his shirt. Chichiri grasped at air, unable to pull her away and unable to pull her close. Reasons flew around in his mind. Reasons why he should push her away now. Reasons why he should-_

_"I've never ever regretted being in love with you." the words were muffled, soft and low. For him, it felt like she had shouted it in his ears._

_His heart, which he thought had calmed suddenly began pounding away again, making him fear that it would actually burst right out of his chest with the force of it._

_"Miaka..." His mouth formed words after the almost desperate plea of her name, but no sound was heard._

_"I'm not saying this to- to-" the brunette stumbled over her words awkwardly, before finally shaking her head and pulling away from his chest. "I only wanted to tell you that. I'm not expecting anything." she rushed to explain. "I'll forever be glad I met you, Chichiri. You were always there, protecting me and guiding me. A shoulder I could lean on, a shield I could depend upon. Not only that- you taught me a lot of things too. One of which is to love without expectation or judgment." she finally looked up at him then, the feelings she had spoken of shining brightly through her eyes. "Loving you was and always will be the one thing I'll treasure the most." she cast him a beatific smile that sent his heart soaring and breaking all at once. "I wish you all the happiness in the two worlds. And I hope that- that you'll find someone who'll treasure you and love you for always because you deserve it." she declared with all the passion she could muster, as tears started streaming down her porcelain cheeks._

_This was it._

_Right here, right now. This was his moment to tell her everything he felt. To explain his fears, his reasons, his decisions. To tell her everything he held within his heart. To tell her that she was and will always be the one he loves the most. That she'll always be the woman who taught him about love and sacrifice and friendship with all that it entailed; the woman who saw through his mask and taught Ri Houjun to finally start **living** again._

_It was always her. It will always be her._

_The moment was slipping away, and so was his chance. He felt the tinglings of Suzaku's powers beginning to enfold around him, preparing to transport him and the others back to their own world and away from hers._

_Away from Miaka._

_Away from the woman who had stolen his heart and captured his soul._

_He opened his mouth, to confess…._

_Then stopped._

_Because, what would it do to say anything now? It would only cause her much more unneeded distress. The least he could do- the most he could do- was to give her a clean break, as it were, to free her to love someone anew. And if he were to fade to the very edges of her memory and then be completely forgotten then he'd accept that fate. Because..._

_"I will always treasure the time we've had together, no da. You have and always will be my dearest friend."_

_Because in the end, she was the most important._

_Her happiness was the most important._

_The red light swallowed him whole, ripping him away from her and sending him plunging into his own world._

_As he fell to the ground of Taiitskun's palace, disregarding the painful crunch of bones and the bruises that would probably appear at such a fall, as he recalled the heartbroken smile on his priestess' face as he disappeared- only then did he finally permit himself to cry._

_Because he had made the best choice, as always— but it was and never will be the right one._

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A/N: I hope you enjoyed and be waiting in baited breath to know where I'm heading with this (I know I am). Please review. It does me good to have encouragement. Especially in this odd and totally- well, odd- endeavor. Thank you.

P.S. PLEAAAAAAAAAASE REVIEW. :))


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